As a dating coach, a lot of my clients have made considerable progress and earned themselves that elusive first date. The date went well, text messages flew thick and fast in the days that followed, and the second date at the restaurant was just as fun. But, this left them with the million-dollar question:
What next?
Is there any way to shake things up and move forward, or are restaurant dates the only way forward?
Well, you might want to rethink your strategy and move things to the nightclub. Here’s why:
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Nightclubs are generally safe social spaces, not too intimate, and with plenty of other folks around. There’s almost always an equal number of men and women, with females sometimes outnumbering the males (thanks to Ladies Night). What this means is that your date will never feel threatened or insecure. She will open up to you without inhibitions and enjoy the night, bringing the two of you much closer than perhaps a drive to that romantic lookout point would.
Women are also aware that married men, and generally those of dubious characters are likely to avoid social spaces where they could be recognized or outed. So if you are comfortable taking things further in a nightclub, the woman you fancy is likely to trust you more.
Now that she’s safe and trusts your intentions, she is ready to let her hair down and enjoy the night. Nightclubs beat restaurants as a dating venue for plenty of reasons:
– The dynamics of nightclubs are better suited to early dating than restaurants because physical proximity is easier (and even sanctioned). You’re allowed to get close to her (close not creepy). So make the most of it – slip an arm around her waist as you guide her to the dance floor. Try pulling her close to you as you dance. If she does not resist, you’re in a good place!
-The music is going to be loud, which means you’re obliged to lean in closer to speak. Compliment the scent of her hair, and make sure your breath is mint-fresh. A good idea is to invest in a killer perfume that will have her swooning. Here’s a useful link on how to tease her.
– What better way to discover each other’s playful side than dancing! She gets to see another facet of your personality. Couples who feel at ease dancing with each other are a step closer to intimacy as the initial inhibitions and formalities slowly break down. PS: take a dance class or two if dancing isn’t quite your forté.
-On a serious note, dating at a nightclub will also help you sift through women who are genuinely into you, and those just looking for a good time. The latter are likely to return flirtatious sideward glances at other men. But a woman who really likes you will be totally oblivious to the attention she’s getting from the rest.
– Like it or not, the alcohol quotient does play its part in setting clubbing apart from other dating avenues. Sure, you could invite her home for drinks but she’s likely to feel safer drinking at a club particularly when she’s getting to know you. It allows for a stress-free night of partying where she can let her guard down.
– HOWEVER, if she shows no qualms ordering continuous refills of expensive cocktails, and shows no attempt to pay at least in part, that’s a red flag you need to watch out for. Women of quality are conscious of how much a man is spending on the date, and won’t take this for granted.
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If you’re serious about taking things further with this girl, why not suggest bringing her friends along too. The truth is women place immense value on the proverbial seal of approval handed out by close friends. Once you’ve earned that, the only way with this woman is forward!
For these reasons and more, nightclubs fit so well with the early dating timeline.
Go ahead and try it!
Until then, if you need help with scoring that first date, check out this link on how to talk to anyone.
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