While dating websites are a great way to meet new women, the unfortunate truth is that a large number of high-quality women just aren’t willing to put themselves out there.

The reasons could be many. Some think of online dating profiles as a last-ditch attempt at love when all else has failed. Others see it as a sign of desperation and inadequacy – after all, women are traditionally believed to have the upper hand when it comes to dating. There’s a popular notion that all a girl needs to do is smile at the cute guy at the department store, and voila, he is hers! If it were so easy, why would she resort to seeking out men online? There’s a gendered prejudice at play too.

And there are women who avoid dating sites for fear of being outed to their bosses, extended family members, neighbours, exes, and perhaps even their own partners!

The good news however is that plenty of these women are still out there on other social media: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, you name it. Believe it or not, you can meet wonderful women the unconventional way on regular social media sites. Here’s how:

Build a credible profile before gaining trust

Make sure you have a full name on your profile and a clear picture of yourself. Most women aren’t likely to engage with guys with cryptic names and profile photos.

Next, you’ll need to fill out some information about yourself like your hometown, current city, where you currently work, and the university you went to. The more you share, the more likely they’ll trust you enough to engage further.

Also, make sure that some of your profile pictures are public. Why? Because women will check out your pictures and posts before responding to you. They could go as far as scrolling down your list of Likes and Comments, even clicking on the profiles of those who interact with you whether family members, friends, or colleagues. They say a man is known by the company he keeps, and this holds in the virtual world too.

It’s best to keep your settings public at least for a few profile photos. If you’re paranoid about privacy, approaching women on social media isn’t going to work for you because women read openness as a sign of having nothing to hide. So establish credibility and authenticity before expecting her to respond. Prep yourself mentally by doing some background reading on how to meet girls.

Friends of Friends

One of the most tried-and-tested ways to open the channels of communication is to contact your “Friends of Friends”. She’ll be less wary if she knows you’re a “friend of her friend”. Don’t be shy. Message her saying something like, “Hey, I see that you’re a friend of my cousin Dave. It seems we have quite a lot in common. I love Korean dramas too. By the way, have you watched Parasite?”

Browse through the Pages she has “liked”

Many women tend to have their “Likes” set to Public which gives you free and easy access to the kind of person she is, the music and cinema she loves, political affiliations, and even causes she is passionate about. It’s a goldmine of information out there and the conversation topics are endless. You’ll need to do the same with your profile as well so she can gauge your interests.

Engage and Comment

If she seems to have most of her posts set on Public (she’s something of a cross between an influencer and a socio-political commentator), you’re allowed to comment and engage even if she isn’t a “Friend of a Friend.” You don’t need to agree with everything she says. Try challenging her respectfully, and use emoticons. If she seems open to engaging with you on her public posts, wait a while before sending her a private message. Follow it up with a Friend Request.

Invest time with women in your city

Sure, that Icelandic girl is cute and has fallen for your charms but you’re several thousand miles away in another continent. If you’re serious about finding a girlfriend you can snuggle up with on cold winter nights, you’ll need to look for girls in your town or city.

So when she has started to message you back, check again to make sure she lives in the same region as you – people sometimes forget to update their Current City on social media profiles. Need more help taking things further? Here’s advice from an expert in dating who will teach you how to approach women with swag and confidence.

Make the move and ask her out

She’s been replying positively and you can’t wait to meet her. But you’re hesitant about asking to meet up. Why not suggest meeting along with another group of people? Perhaps at a book club or a yoga class? A casual brunch at a popular place is a good idea too. She will appreciate your attempt at putting her at ease by setting up a non-threatening first meeting.

If you are familiar with the area she works in, text her during the day saying something like, “Hey, I have an errand this evening at XYX. Don’t you work there? Wanna meet for a quick coffee before I head off to meet a friend later?”

Chances are she’ll accept because it’s not a planned “date”, and the pressure is off. Once you have met her and she seems to like you in person, that is half the work done! You’re on your way to dating this girl you met online.

In conclusion, meeting new women doesn’t necessarily have to happen on Tinder or Bumble. Also, it takes a certain amount of confidence to pull off initiating contact and engaging with women on social media. Follow these tips and you’ll be well on your way to having a new girlfriend!