Suicide is the Leading Cause of Death for Men Under 50!
Did you know that suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50! No one knows the true cause but there are definitely common elements, such as stress at work, family pressures, large mortgages, lack of hours in the day, societies expectations of how men ‘should’ be. It’s the era of the Superman, well groomed, well paid, well organized, highly successful, supporting a perfect wife and family.
These types of expectations can often lead men to reach towards the overuse of alcohol, cigarettes, recreational or prescription drugs to ease the feelings of being under pressure and suffering stress.
Going to any of the talking therapies such as counseling, coaching or psychotherapy are still a taboo in most men’s opinion. Although, now could be the turning point. Many men are becoming more aware that these services exist and although they may still feel slightly embarrassed are seeking some professional advice. Not too long ago it still seemed slightly taboo to admit to undergoing any form of treatment or support. 2 generations ago it was almost unheard of for a man to talk about his ‘feelings’ at all.
Things Are Changing
Thankfully, I believe things are changing, coaching, counseling and various therapies are becoming more ‘street cred’, particularly so because of the amazing, profound results they can have.
A recent telegraph article described the word ‘Man Up’, it would appear men are supposed to be ‘Strong and Stoic’, but it is now the time to make some serious changes in how children are being raised. Old sayings like ‘big boys don’t cry’ and ‘you have to be strong’ need revising, and could be replaced by ‘take deep breath and tell me how you feel’ to ‘if you can’t feel it, you can’t heal from it’. Encouraging young children to express how they feel. What we tend to do as humans is try to ‘fix’ things, when feelings just need to be expressed and listened to and will then generally fix themselves, solutions following shortly.
Men need to be role models for the next generations. Whatever you have been taught, statistics show us that children do what we do, not what we tell them to do.
In my opinion I would suggest women actually prefer their men to say what is going on for them, as it brings about more intimacy and strengthens relationships.
So what needs to change?
Simple, just open up a bit and talk about how you really feel. If this is difficult seek some help so we can prevent another young man from forming part of the unnecessary statistic!