History and culture have formed a stereotype of an ideal couple – two partners deeply in love with each other, sharing all their emotions and thoughts. But it’s out of the question that this scenario is not always realistic, and love has many more shades. Not everyone can be utterly happy with the one and only partner, no matter if it’s because of the lack of emotional attachment or losing love as time passes. Sometimes the feelings are redirected to another person, who seems to fulfill the emotional needs and becomes a new object of fascination. Of course, in the past, it used to be impossible to reveal this fact without being shunned and criticized. But nowadays the standards are not so strict. That’s why more and more people decide not to hide their feelings and share their love between two partners. Is living in a love triangle even possible? What are the consequences and the ‘rules’?
A triangle: How Does It Start?
A love triangle can start in two ways. It’s either the case of a ‘standard’ relationship with two people involved, who decide to spice up their life a little bit and search for ‘the third one’, or one partner simultaneously falls in love with another man/woman and doesn’t want to leave the current relationship. If all the people involved are comfortable with it, they start to have sex or even live in a triangle. However, finding a perfect ‘person number three’ may be difficult. Also if there are particular possibilities on the internet (many people announce their willingness to involve in living in a threesome), there’s no warranty that they will fit in.
A second problem may be the lack of courage to let ‘the stranger in’. If you think of starting a triangle but are not ready yet, introducing a sex doll into your life and sex is a good option. It allows you to get used to the presence of the third in your bed without making a serious decision or hurting anyone’s feelings.
The Everyday Life Of The Three
If you decide to involve in a love triangle, you need to plan it carefully and follow some rules.
First, you need to establish clear roles in the relationship – how much emotions can you give to each person, what are the areas reserved only for one of the partners (if there are any). What’s more, all the partners should think of informing the people around – do you want their friends, families, co-workers to know? If so, to what extent? What can you do to maintain some privacy? Another question concerns living together and hierarchy.
Do you want both your partners to live with you, or would you prefer to have some personal space?
Remember, the hierarchy rules must be clearly stated at the beginning. It’s easy to hurt someone’s feelings if you promise something you can’t fulfill. If you need just a sex partner, let them know before they get too attached. When you want to share all your life in a three, ask about the others’ needs as well.
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As in every relationship, problems can occur in a love triangle. One of them may be no communication or understanding between the partners. It’s difficult in the case of two people, not to mention three. You can sign a sort of a ‘contract’ where you put all the needs, rules, and other elements that are important for you. For example: if there’s a problem, we discuss it all together, with no exceptions. The second thing that may be problematic is the rules of sexual life. You can decide to stay within a ‘closed’ relationship with your partners, or see other people as well and let them do so. It’s up to you, but if you don’t discuss it in advance, it may be difficult, especially in terms of sexual health.
More Tips For Living In A Love Triangle
- Take care of your mental health. Remember that your well-being is a priority, so if you don’t feel comfortable with anything that happens, be ready to speak out and change it.
- Cultivate the feelings. It’s essential to keep the fascination and love high, so always try to spice up your life a little bit. Even the most exciting relationship can become dull if no one cares about it.
- Be prepared to get hurt. Unfortunately, when you mess up with feelings, you need to count on the risk of being betrayed, cheated on, or hurt. It’s easier said than done to get ready for these dramatic situations, but if you take this option into account, you don’t engage that much.
- Remember about self-development. It’s easy to lose yourself in the relationship, especially if it involves three people with different attitudes and expectations. Try to keep the balance and invest in self-development by taking up new activities and careers.
Although living in a triangle might be an exciting adventure for some people, it’s worth sticking to some rules and setting your borders. You can be flexible, but no one should ever agree to things they don’t enjoy and aren’t convinced to. Don’t be scared to say ‘no’ and keep in mind that this kind of relationship can become tiring and challenging. The ‘expiry date’ may eventually come for all of you.