How to: get scintillating style (and pull it off)

You’re suited, booted and you’ve got more gel in your hair than Ross from Friends in a Brylcreem advert – but something still doesn’t feel right.

The paunch in your gut is making you look less Don Draper and more Peter Griffin. Your pasty complexion looks like you’ve been locked in your mother’s basement for a decade, and that hair still looks about as tamed as a Neanderthal’s.

As appealing as the thought is, the suit doesn’t make the man. What does, however, is the right beauty regime. Soon, you’ll have women swoon as you walk by and men admire you from afar.

So what do you have to do?

The Hair of a Hero

You can see the male pattern baldness creeping in, every follicle drifting away like autumn leaves from a rotting tree. But never give up. If you want to see your hair fight to live another day, you’ll have to use a few special products.

Start with a daily dose of chemical free shampoo and avoid harmful, additive-fueled product. Stick to this formula and you won’t have high street shampoos stripping nutrients from your scalp.

The Abs of Conan

If you’ve ever watched the film Conan, you’ll remember that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s abs were rippling beauties of perfection. You could fire a revolver at a point blank range at Schwarzy’s chest and see the bullet ricochet off him without even leaving a scratch.

Wouldn’t it be great to have an Adonis-like six pack, at least once in your life? Well, with the right levels of hard work, you can do just that.

Try bench presses, abdominal crunches and pouring over bodybuilding magazines like they were gospel.

More than this, you’ve got to accumulate flab to maximise muscle, so devour protein as though there was a shortage.

Soon, you’ll be muscular enough to impress even Conan the Barbarian.

The Tailoring of Saville Row

The suit doesn’t make the man, this much is true. However, even an impressive looking gent will struggle to look great in a poorly tailored suit.

Chances are you can’t afford a suit in Savile Row, the most famous bespoke tailoring company in the world. But that doesn’t mean you’ll have to make do with a supermarket suit five sizes too large.

In any city, large or small, there are many bespoke tailors who can get you a snug fitting suit for a minimal price. Although you might not achieve the jawline of Don Draper, you’ll certainly have the threads.