Divorce is not something to be dealt with lightly; the aftermath of divorce leads a person to emotional and financial fallout. Ending a marriage can be traumatic for both persons involved. Women have their own challenges after divorce, but, in most cases, getting divorced will affect a man’s biological, psychological, social, and even spiritual health.
Eris Huemer Winans, Psy.D., LMFT, co-founder of Divorce Doctor, says, “I think that divorce should be the last option.” And indeed, this should be the last option. Before taking any extreme step, it’s better to sit together and sort out the differences instead of trying to file for divorce immediately.
Divorce can affect men’s mental security. According to many researchers, divorced men are more likely to get involved in hazardous activities such as drinking and drugs. Furthermore, the suicide rate of divorced or separated men is 39 percent higher than that of married men. In comparison to married men, depression is more common in divorced men. Divorced men also visit a psychiatrist ten times more often than married men. Instead of being in anguish after divorce, it is advisable to work on your marriage issue with your partner.
Although the divorce rate in the USA has been lessening since the 1980s, still about 40-50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce and women initiate most of these filings. Now, this is the point which all men should pay attention to. Here are some of the reasons why women initiate divorces:
- Addiction: If you are an addict, either to gambling, alcohol, or drugs, you may be at risk for divorce. Any addiction can cause difficulties with your relationship and is often enough for your wife to break all emotional bonds with you. If the addiction worsens, it often leads to legal and financial problems, along with emotional abuse. Growing up in an addictive household leaves a negative impact on children, which later can turn into many other challenges and cause irreparable damages. If you’re addicted to something, it’s best to get help and join a program or group to help you overcome your addiction.
- Abusive Relationships: If you are physically or verbally abusing your wife, it is just not negotiable. The abusive relationship never stops once started and later turns into a vicious cycle of never-ending violence. Living in an abusive relationship becomes more severe when it puts kids at risk. Growing up in such an environment is very toxic for children. Both verbal and physical abuse tear the mental and emotional well-being of your partner, further forcing her to file a divorce.
- Infidelity Without Any Guilt: The foundation of any marriage is trust, loyalty, and respect, and when any of these broken or betrayed, it becomes tough to hold onto your relationship. Most affairs are either a one-night stand or a purely physical secret affair that lasted for a few months. While your spouse may be willing to forgive infidelity once, multiple affairs of which you display no sense of guilt will likely lead your spouse to opt for divorce.
Although there are many reasons why couples get a divorce, the three reasons above are some of the most common ones. Giving up on your marriage easily and immediately is often not the right solution. Try to go for a marriage counselling session. Get advice from family, friends, or clerics. Do the best you can do to save your marriage.
And if you must get divorced, mediation attorney can help you come to an agreement that is worked out between you and a spouse.
Here are some other things you can do to try and save your marriage.
- Don’t Take Her For Granted – Marriage is just the beginning. After exchanging rings and vows, don’t think you can’t lose her. The hard work isn’t over after “I do’s.” It has just started, and you should know how to cherish and win her for eternity.
- Continue with the Little Gestures: Try to bring back the little things you did for her long before you tied the knot. Ignite your love for her. Never let her say that you changed from what you once were. Show your care by doing all those little gestures you were doing before marriage. Give her flowers or gifts from time to time, pamper her, and listen to her. Whatever traditions or gestures were there to establish your love, don’t let them blow off. Those little gestures were the founding stone of your relationship and represented your love and care for her. So, don’t let it go, or make her think that your feelings have changed.
- Talk to her: Always be a good conversant husband. Share your problems with her. She is your partner and the best person to share all your worries. A marriage is strong and healthy when both partners discuss and take decisions altogether. Silence weakens the relationship and is certainly not suitable for a healthy marriage. So, talk to her.
- No One is Perfect: Don’t expect her to be the best and perfect partner. No one is perfect, neither are you. Change yourself and accept her for who she is. The ideal partner is just a fantasy, and no one can live up to unreal expectations. The best relationship is when both people look at each other as equals and respect each other with their imperfection.